August 3, 2015

“I was helpless; powerless to move as a dragonfly in amber.”

My Dearest R

It has been several months since I’ve written. I had hoped you would stay in touch when you moved on to your new post but you have been silent as stars. So I placed it upon myself to move on too because I know you would want me to be happy. One month I thought how utterly miserable it was, that I could have misconstrued our connection. And I decided to close the book and whenever I thought of you, send you positive energy, for even now I cannot seem to help how I feel.

I have a new psychiatrist now and I must say that it is pure fun having intelligent conversation, where I can lead him down one path only to end up on quite another. I merely mention this because intelligent conversation is hard to come by these days. But it is therapeutic  that somehow helps me to put our situation and some of my other issues under scrutiny. It has in fact, helped me to see more clearly. But you know me, I do like to turn people’s head about, it’s a brilliant pastime save for the poor fool who thought himself smarter than me.

So this is not a letter of undying love nor a proclamation of any sort. It is a simple letter, written from the heart, hoping that someday it will reach yours. To be honest, I’ve not thought of you on purpose for weeks on end because that seems the most logical thing to do when met with silence and no goodbye. But today, you came to me, and my thoughts turned to you.

All I wonder is, how you are, what is happening in your life, are you happy, did things turn out the way you had hoped. And perhaps left finally with the same question that has spanned these many years, have you thought of me too? Well whatever the answer, I always know where to look for you. In the farthest region of my heart. Tucked away for safe keeping.

Best Wishes



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