Lost

November 18, 2012

Dear Raymond

To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart. Phyllis Theroux

I’m glad I have school to focus on, it makes my days go by faster and gives me something to reach for. It’s been a little over two weeks since I gave you the fated letter. I didn’t get to see the look on your face or how you took it in. That was the flaw with writing a letter, it’s one way communication. It saved me from telling you to your face but I missed out on any response.

I’m really rather tired of one way communication. it’s always me sharing and you listening. I long to know how you’ve been, what your thoughts are, how is your heart. What’s new, what’d old, laugh it up with you. You really have the most brilliant laugh. I love it when you’re totally lit up and happy.

It’s been tough these past days because I’ve wanted to share my small victories, talk to you about anything and everything, wishing I could hear your voice. Telling you how I felt and walking away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I feel like I lost a true friend. My prayers of late have been ones about answers instead of questions. While mystery is dripping with romance, I want my reality better than a dream.

Sending You Love,

Sage

Liberate

November 3, 2012

Dear Raymond,

I am now more bewildered than I have ever been in the history of this relationship. I thought I was ending something between us but your reaction did not indictate that. Oh my silly self, to think I had any kind of control over something this big. I made a decision out of my spirit and though I will miss you, I know it was the right choice. Instead of coming home crying, I came home smiling. I’m really not sure what happened.

My deepest wish is that you understood and received my message. That it filled your heart with overflowing joy and happiness. Enough to sustain you through whatever life brings. I should’ve been sad but as I walked through my day today I carried you in my heart. The most difficult part lies ahead for me. To carry on and not be consumed with the thought of an outcome. I hope the days that are ahead for you bring you peace.

Love Sage