April 29, 2012

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage” Lao Tzu

My Dearest Raymond,

When I came across this quote I immediately thought of you. I know you think that I am amazing and strong. I remember once when I professed that you inspire me, your reply was, “Sage you inspire yourself”. I guess this is half-true. I give most of the credit for my inspiration to God, because sometimes the words just magically appear and all I have to do is write them down. And sometimes I think my own thoughts. But there are definite moments in time when I draw my healing and inspiration by simply knowing you. I’ve drawn strength from your words and I’ve garnered courage. You are just going to have to accept this as truth.

I’ve longed to write to you these past several weeks. The last time I visited with you put a smile on my face that lasted for three days. I was worried I may have misconstrued your statements, so I ran it by my best friend for a guy translation. Whether you intended to or not, you definitely skated past thing one and touched on thing two. Don’t worry, I wont hold it against you.

Whether you believe it or not, you are a gift to me. What a beautiful person God has given me, who I can be my whole self with. Someone who is there for me without wanting anything at all in return, except maybe my smile. Just being with you sets my heart aglow.

Every day a piece of my past disappears and the beginnings of my future take its place.  I have had to learn patience in my life in so many different situations and I think I’ve come a long way in that regard. There’s only one thing I’m truly impatient about these days, and that is waiting for the day when we can fully welcome each other into our hearts.

Counting the Days Til I See You,