Stupid Cupid

February 14, 2012

Dear Raymond,

Happy Valentines Day! 99% sure I have no chance with you, but it’s that 1% that gives me hope. What has gotten me so smitten? You’re beautiful to me because when I look into your eyes I can see what’s in your heart. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Be Mine,



Here’s the Thing..

February 11, 2012

Dear Raymond,

I felt the need to write this letter after our last visit. I write these letters so that one day you will be able to read them. Someday you will look back on these years and be reminded of how much I care for you. I felt it important to clarify & express the two and very separate aspects of our relationship. I like to call them, thing one and thing two.

Thing one is you doing your job to the best of your ability. Thing one has helped me immensely. I  know how humble you can be and that you are wonderful to almost everyone you come into contact with. It is who you are and what you were trained to do. It is not uncommon for a person in your position to encounter hero worship. People who have been helped in a major way look to their helpers and are so grateful that you can be looked upon very highly. I wont lie and say I’m not in that camp.

But if you knew the woman I am and have become, you’ll easily recognize thing two. Thing two has nothing to do with thing one. Thing two is just a man & a woman, who have been brought together in a most unseemingly innocent situation. Thing two is divine. You cannot plan for it or expect it, you cannot erase it from your heart no matter how many things you try. Thing two, is being in your prescence and enjoying you for who you are, and not about thing one.I know thing two is real and not something I have imagined. I’ve had many people help me and they too have been wonderful toward me. But there was never more than a feeling of goodwill & friendship in those relationships. I have never ever felt thing two, about anyone in my life, except you. It is always you.

I’ve missed seeing you these past weeks but I’ve felt it necessary to keep some space between us. It may very well be more evidence that no matter space or time, this all still exists for me, regardless. I wanted to be clear about this and I wanted you to know this. I have this unshakeable belief that there is a chapter in the future, when we will finally be able to say the things we really want to say.

For me, it’s always going to be a win-win scenario. No matter what transpires or where life takes us, that divine path wont change. Even if it nothing ever happens, I know we all get to be together with the ones we love, in the end. Please dont mistake my feelings as part of a professional situation. If this were true, I’m sure I would have already forgotten about this by now and moved on to a new relationship. I felt like I had made you feel uncomfortable when I told you that I missed you. Like I went from thing one to thing two and it was somehow the wrong thing to say. I promise in the future to try to stick to thing one. I’m starting to believe more and more that thing two is inevitable. The Song of Solomon says, “Don’t open love too soon.” You werent supposed to tell me you missed me. I get that now.

Thinking of you,